Advice for victims - if you have made the decision to leave

If you have made the decision to leave:

  • Arrange for a place to go.  It is best if this is a place unknown to your abuser.  Remember that friends may sometimes be reluctant to assist you in this way, because of concerns for their own safety.  If you need somewhere to stay at short notice you should contact Refuge and Women's Aid direct (see their link in Support Services). They can provide refuge facilities in most areas.  You can stay there for a few days or even months, to give you time to consider your future.  You should also pre-plan childcare resources if necessary.

  • The economic implications of leaving your partner should also be considered before you leave.  You will need to have access to enough money to support yourself and any children.  Consider opening a separate bank account in advance, getting your own credit cards, and opening a PO Box address for mail.  Remember the Benefits Agency may be able to help you.

If you are living without your abuser after separation:

  • Safety precautions are crucial at this stage.  Personal protection devices such as locks, alarms and mobile phones can be helpful.  Be vigilant about your personal safety, and if possible always travel with a friend or colleague.  Notify your neighbours, employers and schools about injunctions that are in place, and ask that they notify the police if the abuser is seen near to your home.  Ensure that schools know who has authorisation to collect the children.

  • Many forms of harassment, intimidation and abuse can continue after you have left.  A number of options exist to prevent this from happening. Your local Citizen's Advice Bureau and family solicitors will be able to advise you on the best way to combat any problems you may be experiencing.

  • Having an emergency plan to leave your home quickly is a good precaution against any threat that your partner may pose to you in your property.